I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.