what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.