Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?