I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.