Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed

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(916): View more from California

awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Sacagawea was the original milf.

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(805): View more from California

Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up

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(408): View more from California

I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.

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(409): View more from Texas

I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"

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