gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
even my farts smell like vagina
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home