I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.