You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I am one with the molecules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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