yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
