Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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