Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
