I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
