Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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