so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
