I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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