I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
