hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
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