fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
