I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
