I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
We smell like vodka and hangover
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