I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize