My hair reeks of homosexuality.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
