i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
