I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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