I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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