haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
sex in a hospital.. check
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize