When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
