don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
