too bad you live with your parents still
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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