If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize