I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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