I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
