After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
