why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
do herpes really smell.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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