Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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