he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
