ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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