Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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