So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
