I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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