I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
