Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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