so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
