the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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