K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
worst night to have a conscience
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
