The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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