he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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