question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
