since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
