I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
