I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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