i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
