so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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