How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I need water and some morals
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
