I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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