We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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