Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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