Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
