At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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