apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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