Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
