haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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