Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
