So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
