no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
