New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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