I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
