Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
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she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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