Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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