Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
