My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
im on a boat
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