I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
