butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
