so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize