YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
