Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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