Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
