i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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